I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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