So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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