Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize