I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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