Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
