just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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