What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
