Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize