First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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