some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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