My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize