Kiss
Puke
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
