You can't motorboat a personality
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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