just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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