okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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