She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
