margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
