I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize