Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I must be too annoying 4 u.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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