We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
