I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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