I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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