Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
