Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
