he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.