no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company