Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
