Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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