who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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