i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Terrible idea I love it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize