i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
