Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
