Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
