Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
