Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
