Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
