Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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