dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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