How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
