Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
