I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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