I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
