Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
