I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
