be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
