I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize