why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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