this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
