On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
