I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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