Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
