I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
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You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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