I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
