I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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