I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
third nipple confirmed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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