Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
