we have pet lesbian snakes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
