I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
