no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
