What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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