My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
