Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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