smell my finger.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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