"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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